I developed a phobia of zuo wens on Monday during the first day of Chinese intensive. We didn't have to do any zuo wen on Monday, but the suspense was dreadful. I carried on being stressed over having to do zuo wens until Tuesday when we finally had to do one in class. I thought it would be over for that day, but when Ms K started going through the letter writing zuo wens, some tiny, persistent part of me kept hoping that we wouldn't have to do the zuo wen. Well, I didn't give up hoping, until there wasn't much of a choice. We had to do 2 zuo wens for homework and I felt better after being assigned the work, I don't know why. Then this morning, I thought I would be free of zuo wens, but no. The Chinese HOD walked in and my phobia was acting up again. I have completed 5 zuo wens in 2 days. It's not as bad as the March holidays. That one was a rate of 3 zuo wens per day. I don't mind doing tons of paper 2 in exchange for paper 1. At least, for paper 2s, the answers are all there and you don't have to mobilise so many brain cells. Whereas for zuo wens, it's like coming up with something out of nothing. Argh.. 7 more days of intensive, and about 40 hours left. I hope they don't make us do zuo wens tomorrow...

The past 2 days were bad violin days. For some reason, I couldn't play properly. I got easily annoyed at any slightly out-of-tune note and tried even harder to make everything perfect. I wanted to just fling my violin out of the window or something but I managed to resist that temptation. Well, at least I told myself to at least spend an hour on it before forgetting about it for the next 23 hours. Then, I remembered what my teacher told me: sometimes, the harder you try, the further you get. So just try only. Don't think about perfection. Nothing more than try. I think I learn a lot from violin lessons, not just in terms of violin playing, but also psychologically. Playing the violin is all about the mind. My teacher spends more time correcting my mindset and teaching my brain how it should work rather than telling my arms how to operate. Some lessons can almost seem like some sort of counselling session. Maybe music therapy. Today was better because I made myself relax and just try. It wasn't a perfect practice, but at least I enjoyed my daily torture a little more.

I don't know if I want to DSA into a JC or not. I would try through strings, but then there are many things to consider. Maybe I should just try my luck with the auditions, see which JCs accept me, then decide whether I want to reject them or not. Not that I think I'll end up with many choices anyway. I think there are hundreds of violinists better than me all trying for the few places.

Yay! Evangeline is bringing the lighthouse tomorrow. It was inspired by our pen cap sporting events held at our desks. Then we can hold the official opening ceremony of our miniature Pedra Branca island. All we need is a couple of boats that will bother to pass by...